Lost in the eternal darkness
for all time to come
never be released
never getting out of this hellhole
never getting away.
Does She even care
about how I feel
my yearning for a better life.
How painful this cruel life is?
what do i care about lessons gained it is not worth it
life has no meaning like this.
I guess not, not enough to help me get out of here
I guess it is too much to ask.
There is no gain only eternal pain
I wish to escape this hard path
finding an easier way out.
all that exist is crushed dreams
a aching heart and soul.
It hurts terribly that I didn´t get the job I wanted
It breaks me into pieces that I didn´t get
even get a internship at an art gallery.
I know that She could made it happen
if She wanted.
If I was someone else I
It is so cruel
It is so unfair
My wings are broken
so I can´t fly
I am too tired to fight and struggle all the time
If I had known my life would be so terrible with Her
i would have escaped when I saw Her the first time.
It doesn´t matter who i follow
they are just as harsh and cruel.
No one cares about me
no one understands me
No one is gonna help me
Alone forever more
I am on my own
living in a cruel world
suffering a harsh fate
doing what I can to help myself
not that it matters much
I am just stupid
believing that She cared
enough to help me
that I would get a better life.
I am sure that if I was someone else
They would care more
I am a failure
a looser forever
no help
no support
no shortcuts
All by myself
I am on my own
no more help or support
handle everything that comes by
on my own
I have no strength
I have no power
I am nothing
I am fool
a naive idiot that could be used
so silly believing
I would get anything out of it
that they would help me
that anyone cared
about me
my needs
Life is so cruel
so painful
to live in this
eternal darkness
with no possibilities
to be free
to be released
Morrigu
Supreme WarGoddess
With eyes dark as the night
Your hair has colours of the dying sun
You are The light in the darkness
Your spirit pulsates in my veins
I want revenge
I crave for those who harmed me
to suffer like I do
I want them to pay
pay the price of harming one
of your witches.
I am the darkness
I am the womb
I am the Black Sea
the abyss which absorbs it all until
I burst and give rebirth
The winter is my regin it
gives a away for the spring
I am the bottomless pit
I am in the nightmares although
I don´t create yours
I don´t create your anxiety
and panicattacks either
I challenge you to be strong,
don´t be anyones pushover
don´t anyones serf.
My gift to you is to take your powers
take up the tools I have given you,
create the life you want
live your dream and one day
it willl be your reality
Lady of Avalon
Modron Morgue Le Fay
It is my trust in Her
That makes me keep on struggle
I have confident and faith in a better future.
I love to be outdoors
be connected to Her at some solitude place were there
are no other people who may disturb me.
disturb my spiritual connection with Her.
She is everywere, within me
and in everything around me.
In the moon during the night
In the sun at day
To feel Your embrace while I shiver of anxiety
to be caressed by You
Not being taunted for my pain anxiety.
You shield me from the madness the complete insanity
that threatens to destroy me.
You fill me with strength and power to move on
go through all the terror, anxiety with you by my side.
You make me aware of that it is all an illusion
they cant harm me, the other people have no power over me
I don´t need their false friendship or their bullying
Their ignorance doesn´t even bother me anymore.
They try to crush everything I believe in.
They do whatever they can to get my down so that I can be
their victim, their serf.
They are so jealous cause
I have what they don´t
trust in Her
For so many years I have feared,hated
and loved them
as I have descpiced my self.
Stigmatized by the inner terror
the anxiety and panic attacks
I ignore their patetic attempt to drag me me down to their misery.
It vanishes, just like their power and attempts to mug me is gone.
the anxiety and panicattacks is nothing but fears and
memories of traumatic experiences.
I choose if others shall rule my life
I choose if the anxiety and panicattacks shall controle me.
I am strong now, I can stand on my own.
My strength and power comes from within
No one can take that away from me.
My trust in Her, my witchcraft, art and poetry
is my way to survive
in a cruel heartless world with none compassion
for those who are different.
Goddess you are my shelter both in joy as well in sorrow.
From You I get the comfort and care I cannot get from other people.
From you I get the strength and will to live
The tenderness in your voice while You speak to me
The strength in Your arms when You hold me
The love in Your eyes when you look at me
the power in your embrace while you shield me
from the other people ignorance, cruelty
and the anxiety and panicattacks
With You I can be as I am
I am never to gloomy
to morbid
or to happy
to exited
with you I can be the one I am.
You are the Light in my life.
Either I travel on the top of the hills in life
or at the deepest abyss
Lady of Avalon ll
A place were my soul belong
a magical enchanted world.
Inside me are You
All around you are as you have always been and ever shall be.
I see Your beauty in the gorgeous nature.
While I am alone outdoors at you sacred altar
it is like the boring everyday with all its demands and duties
world doesnt exist anymore.
My connection to You is all that matters
The air I breath is You, the gentle touch of the wind is your hands
who lovingly caress me.
You encirle me completely
You fill me with Your energy
You are all around me
And Yours I shall be forever
You are inside me
My heart is your altar
my soul sing your praises for eternities
In the powerful trees I see your strentgh
in the greenery I see your
hair black as night
Vioelett eyes with unconditional love
in the flowers beauty I can sense you sorrow
Sadness over all the destruction on the this planet
How we humanbeings Your children
oppress each other
cause other harm and needless suffering
humans are being supressed
animals being exticted
nature destroyed.
Even though we human being cause so much
damage destruction and suffering
You are always there for us.
You love us uncondionally
You are calways there to give as a hand and guide on our path.
Granting us strength and power.
You are always here for us,
You never desert any of us.
Morrigan
My heart radiates with love for you
The dark and light is
met within Me forever entwinned.
It is all about balance.
I am the fiery the passion that burns in your soul.
Feel my Sister Lady of The Lake Morganna Le Faye
wash away all your pain with Her cleansing rain.
It is all about trust, how you choose to live,
When you feel empty and your path is lost call to Me,
I will be there as I always has been.
When you think that this is your last miniutes of your
miserble life cause your inner terror is to hard to handle for you.
I will be there giving you strength,
help you to move beyond the pain that shackles you.
I will breath sweet life into you dying veins.
I am the Light that lights up all darkness.
Give all your fears and woes to Me and I will turn
it to tools of power.
Or you can choose to live by your own
fears and negativity, letting them consume
you more and more. What you choose is up to you.
I will always be here to guide you no matter what.
All you need is to have faith, faith in Me believe in yourself.
MorgAine Morrigan
Hear my song of adoration to Thee
Oh powerful Mistress of the Night
In Your hands are my existance
my body,
my soul,
and my life is Yours
Lady bless me
Lady keep me
Lady stengthen me
Lady protect me
Lady guide me
Lady light my way
Lady you are my hope
Lady you are my life
Lady you are my souls delight
Lady you are all that is has been and ever shall be
I worship thee I worship thee I worship thee
Blessed Be
Praise to Morgan Le Fay
Glorious Goddess
Enchanting Lady of Avalon
Once as I felt so lost and lonely
I humbly asked you to be apart of my life
To guide me and heal me
Now I have learned to follow you
To trust and have faith in you
Even though I at times
Ran away from you
I even tried to push you away from me
So that I could die in my misery
But you continued to stay with me
You knew that it wasn’t you I wanted to leave
It was my misery
Lady you are always with me
Comforting guiding and healing me
I am so grateful for all Your
Love comfort guidance healing and
Protection you have given me
Morgaine Lady of Avalon
You are the mistress of magick,
Lady of the Lake
I wish that I will be
A great priestess for you
I honor Thee
With my heart soul and mind
I love Thee above all things
I worship You with my entire being
The SnowQueen
Fata Morgana, Morrigan the Cailech
The Snow is falling
Creates a huge white carpet of the earth
The trees and land are leaveless no greennery
anymore it is all dead
The tree raises their skeleton hands to the sky
Skin pale as the snow
Hair like dying sun
Eyes black as the bottomless abyss
She is watching you.
As I walk there in the snow
the snow has never felt more beautiful
so tempting to lie down
just rest for a while in white snow.
I am so tired
Fall to the ground on the ice
The snow fall harder embraces me like a carpet.
So wonderful
close my eyes for a while
-Get up!
This is no place to sleep.
You curl up in the snow
soon it will be all over
no more pain
no more suffering.
All that exist is your wish
of the deepest and most lovely
sleep of all.
The SnowQueen scream in the wind
at you like the baneshee
I WANT TO DIE
I want to die
here I lay here I lay to die
here I lay crying in my sleep
waking to stare at the darkest sky
staring as it begins to rain
deeper deep a moaning sign
try to ease the blinding pain
tears fall tears that burn the ground
the sky starts to sway
here I lay to one day finally decay
in the down pour of heavens tears
I lay on the shore
my eyes staring at the silenced grey as the sun
sets soon the rain lets up
and a darker sky grows still
as the clouds travel away
here I lay in a flood of desire
I want to die
but here I lay still breathing
I want my soul to retire
but I lay here with my heart still beating
I scream I shout louder as the sun rises to show a clear sapphire sky
my dream I doubt will come true
I cry for the hours glass to run out
I cry with my entire soul
but alous if will not run now
I want to to loose control
but control embraced me
here I lay in a crypt were my heart is placed
I want life to let go and to free me of this disese
I lay here and watch an oil covered bird
it is flying it last flight falls to rest through the trees
I wish an hour gone and my life was dead
here I lay
here I lay to die
here I lay crying myself to an endless sleep
I stare at the brightest sky
I wish for a deadly acid rain
deeper deep the moaning sign
try to ease the everbinding pain
my tears fall my tears burn the ground
I close my eyes I let this horror slowly fade away
you said I could come with my problems
and it would all work out in the end
you said you knew how I felt when I said I wanted to die
you said you knew what it was like when all I ever did was cry
you said I could always count on you
you would always be there for me
so were were you when I needed a friend
I am only human
nothing soothes my pain
death is allround us
life is just a game
no one understands me
they just think they know me
maybe death will show them all.
all life is just a game
they say my poems are trashy
say my art depress them
do they really care
do they understand
life is just a fucked up game we play
close your eyes my sweet
let the tears flow down
maybe they will notice the pain they throw around
souless eyes of darkned powers
with no love she cries and covers.
THE END
Sometimes love is all you have
and people crush your dreams
pull you into pieces and rip you at the seans
you get pulled inside out
and you feel you are ready to die
the rain comes down really hard and you begin to cry
black darkness closes you in
and your voices catches in your throat
you feel you are driffting through a dream in a very small boat
you open the vein and let it flow
blood pouring everywere
you feel like leaving the pain
and your life standing there
body standing still
soul standing up
you go into a dark sleep
darkness closes you in yet again
and the pain goes deep you yell and throw things
blood splattering everywere you tear apart everything
and blood is running through your hair
you run out of energy very quickly
lay on the floor crying
you realize very quickly that you will soon be dying
life looses it is fight for a while
and you lay the death creeps in slowly killing here and there
love did this to you
love is the end of it all
just lay down to die
so that you won´t get forced to cry.
PRISIONER OF THE DARKNESS
The cruelty you put me through has stigmatized my soul
the memories remain there forever.
You heartless attitude and abuse took all my trust
and joy away from me.
Cause of what you have done
I can never love again
I can never trust a man again.
I can never feel safe anywere,
cause even beyond the most gentle face there may be
a monsterous soul out to harm.
Hate runs through my veins
the black power fills me.
The Hate is like poison
killing everything good in me.
All becaurse of your evil deeds
you crushed every bone in my body
you tormented me
you kicked my, while I was begging
for forgiveness, pleading you to stop.
bloody and dying you left me to die in the cold.
All I did or said was wrong.
TEARS OF BLOOD
Through the cold autum, harsh winter and rainy spring
you were the only one who cared about me.
You were the only one I got.
I left everything and everyone just to be with you.
I could never understand that I gave you too much
more than what I could get.
Through this terrible time
you were there listening and comforting
Your words were caressing my tortured soul
Your arms were the safety in my life.
I loved you more than anything else in life.
I sacrificed it all to be with you my love.
But I came to close to the fire.
The fire burned down my wings.
As an outburned ashes I can never love again
As the time goes, leaves are falling.
My wounded heart slowly bleeds to death.
My feelings withering away.
Only memories remains,
Like shattered hearts, roses with bittersweet smell
My tears are the blood in the snow and on the frozen ice.
My lacerated bloody soul is like a forgotten rose begging for thaw
My lips are frozen
My heart is dead
My life is gone forever more
(author unknown)
A prayer in time of great need
Great Queens
grant me courage
to stay strong
so I can fight against the unjustice
that has happened
It would be so easy to close my eyes
let the dementia take over
Then I wouldn´t feel anything
Dark Mother
let the efforts fail
from those who work against me
causing my life to fall apart.
Nights without restful sleep
endless days without nights
Hide and shield yourself
knowing that you can never escape
from life´s trials
In Her embrace
I am able to forget
the daily life´s strife
the insanity of it all.
How could those in authority
tell me that I shouldget an internship
in such a dreadful placeworking there is such a shame
I refuse just won´t do it
I don´t care about what they say
If they force me will leave this world for good
The insanity grows further
so does the desire within
a long time I was dead inside
When am I gonna learn?
No one is gonna help me
No one is gonna save me
save me from myself
Her ways are rough and hard
I stumble and fall alot.
Life is such a fucked up game.
either you win or loose,
I tend to loose all the time.
She says I should trust Her
that It will get better.
I am just so tired of this fighting
of this eternal struggle.
Crying in Morgana´s lap
whine and yell.
Feel Her embrace, the comfort
I am recieving.
It eases the pain within
makes me move on.
Pain and misery it is all that you feel.
what I want for you is to go through it
so you can move beyond.
you hesitate to walk through it thinking a
that it will cause you more pain
it is your hesitation your ways of trying to escape
that prolongs the pain not the other way around.
You say you want to be an artist that living without art is no l.ife.
making it sound like you fear you should give it up. It is all in you.
It is your choice what you would do.
You kill your own spirit the light and hope within by
doubting yourself feeding your lower self
so how are you going to move forward to your goals
with pitying yourself
binging on coke and sweets
when you really want to use it for art supplies
using your time for creating art.
it is hard for you all to understand
How the way life is
How it all work
all the struggle
all that you must go through
pain and rage within you boils
the key is to use it in a way that benefits you.
You suppress it in front of me
You deny its existence
You share it with other but not with Me
Betrayal
it hurts so bad
tears rolls down on your cheek
Eyes so sad
the sun and light is gone
Your look says it all.
How could you?
How could you betray me like this?
How could you push me into do it
I failed as always but cause you guided me
the pain and anger is burning me alive
how can I go on?
how can I follow you?
how can I even be with you after this
it happens over and over,
how could you?
Do you even care about me?
all the pain you cause me?
and if I ask you why
if I object say that I am having harder to trust you after that
it is like you have no compassion or love for me
I am so stupid
I am such a fool.
Thinking that You even care
hoping you would help me, why would you?
success is for the lucky ones
I hurt you
I caused you this pain
Not out of spite or to harm you
I push you forward
I show you all kinds of opportunities
all kinds of ways to walk
things to try.
some things may not go your way
In My eyes
there are no failure,
no mistakes
just bumps on the road
obstacles to solve
challenges to defeat.
you take it all so personally
like everything is a grade on your worth
if you succeed, get what you want
you are finally good enough
if you fail you are either useless or
I am just being mean tormenting you.
there is a third way which is the truth.
Safe
Safe with Me
Safe in the Darkness with me
Stay with me
Dont pass me by
Avoiding the other ones
the Sun is too bright
They will harm you
crush you like a bug
Make you realize
You are nothing
You are no one
You are useless
Your art are useless
Avoiding putting yourself in the light
Hide and runaway from the pain
the others may cause you.
live on the fears instead of facing the them
Always scared and anxious
Spending your time on hopeless dreams
Envy and hate living on the scattered pieces of your dreams
building yourself up with fears
the hate and envy within
makes you miserable
pushing people away from you.
feeling rejected hated by them
not understanding what is happening.
You gave up
You gave up on yourself
You let the light within die.
When your dreams got crushed
It wasnt a sign that I wouldnt let you have it.
That I deny you happiness and a fulfilled life.
that I wouldnt let your goals come true
All it ever was an obstacle on your path.
So life didnt turn out the way you wanted.
you didnt get what you desired most in life.
That is the way life is, not the same as I would deny you it,
that I want you to be miserable, live in misery.
Your dreams never really died
they just got changed as time went by.
still hiding
Living in the shadow
you are yearning for the sun the light
but unable to enjoy it
with painting you feel better
once again i see you smile
you greet with such joy
i can see the happiness in your eyes
your bubbling spirit amuses me.
You make all of these plans goals on how to to succed
yet you hesitate to take the final step.
do what needs to be done
to put yourself out there
letting the world know who you are
what you have to offer
what you want to achieve
The fright that keeps you from putting
yourself out there which is a bad ally
cause it chain you to the memories
of the broken dreams
crushed goals the pain.
The fears and failures imprison you
in the darkness for life
Break The chain
face the fears.
it is all an illusion
it will fade away
The the first step
sure it will be scary in the beginning
but what are your options
other then live of your fears
My path with Her
My path with The Morrigan
involves it all pain and anger
as well as joy and euphoria
The Morrigan took me through the darkest path
were we face our fears, pain, and regrets.
All our setbacks as well as trauma.
No pain no gain.
Since the darkness can´t be fully
avoided I had no choice then go through it.
Cause it is only when we bring it up
to the surface.
We can get healed and move on
Great Cathubodua
You grant me the courage I need
to accept the challenges ahead of me
When battletimes has come
You are with me.
I times of danger Your protection
are always near.
For that I thank You
I praise You
It is with honor
I channel you once a month
I do acts in the world
for the enviroment and animalcare
Is something that means a lot to me.
I know it is important in Her eyes as well.
Broken dreams
Do what you can to achieve your goals
Take all opportunities
do everything you can to fulfill your desires
one day your efforts will pay
if you can´t get your highest dreams fullfilled
you get it in a another way.
Like for me I never got into university of fine art
I have cried billions of tears for thatI have a friend
who is tutoring me in drawing
My art gets better and better
I have had serveral art shows.
And I will have more.
As painful as it is and hard too admitt
I can do well without Artuniversity education.
Although the education would have more opened doors for me.
Who knows perhaps I will have a chance and money to go there one day.
I can choose to keep dwelling in my misery
shattered dreams and pain
selfpity leads me nowhere
Cry and share my pain and misery with Her
Then get up let all the pain and hurt go
The Goddess helps as see that there are
other possibilities in life in life to achive our dreams.
It may not be exactly as we wished it be.
As for me I am still a artist in Her eyes
There are other ways to learn things.
I want to have a career in Fine Art industry
The second best thing can be to become
a cakedekorator, a paistry confectioner
It is a creative job. I would do stuff with my hands.
So that can be pretty cool.
The internship I have gotten in a paistryhouse
could lead to more jobs. I should keep my my chin
up. Cause The Goddess is with me,
She gives me the strength and courage I need.
To endure anything that comes by.
Dark Morrigu battle Raven
shield me in your arms
Let me forget the inner terror for awhile
My heart is bleeding
my soul is wonded
Great Morrigu
You stand before me with Your
shining sword
Your words are the truth
You are always near
I feel so strange within when You are here
I wanna run
run faraway as fast as
I could from you
knowing that i could never escape
I feel so strange within
I wanna embrace You
be one with You
be strong and safe
Be like You
You wouldn´t cry for the years that has gone by
You wouldn´t waste your time on useless stuff
You wouldn´t rage against those who harm you
you would destroy them right away.
No one crossess you without getting paid for it.
Alone
Feeling so lost and lonely
I scream
I shout louder
But no one is there to hear me
My tears falls
tears of lonliness
why am I such a though target
why do I keep on destroying everything around me
making it impossible for anyone to love me
My heart aches
it aches to be loved
to be understood
My tormented sould bleeds to death
the blood colours the ground red
Great Lady, mighty Morrigu
You see my pain and my misery
please take it away
Let me live agan
let me see the light again
Let the pain fade away
Let me feel love again
Blessed Be
´mighty Goddess
In your hands my existance
My body, my soul, my life is yours
Enchanting Mistress of the Night
Grant me strength
Grant me power
Grant me corage
Great Protectoress
How can I thank you
All I can give you
is my life, my devotion.
Goddess meditation
Lady bless me
Lady keep me
Lady stengthen me
Lady protect me
Lady guide me
Lady light my way
Lady you are my hope
Lady you are my life
Lady you are my souls delight
Lady you are all that is has been and ever shall be
I worship thee I worship thee I worship thee
PraiseTo Morgan Le Fey
Glorious Goddess
Enchanting Lady of Avalon
Once as I felt so lost and lonely
I humbly asked you to be apart of my life
To guide me and heal me
Now I have learned to follow you
To trust and have faith in you
Even though I at times
Ran away from you
I even tried to push you away from me
So that I could die in my misery
But you continued to stay with me
You knew that it wasn’t you I wanted to leave
It was my misery
Lady you are always with me
Comforting guiding and healing me
I am so grateful for all the
Love comfort guidance healing and
Protection you have given me
Morgaine Lady of Avalon
You are the mistress of magick,
Lady of the Lake
I wish that I will be
A great priestess for you
I honor Thee
With my heart soul and mind
I love Thee above all things
I worship You with my entire being
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